Saturday for the Self

It’s Saturday. I haven’t slept well and I have a business meeting this afternoon. I’m lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling and trying to slow down time with my mind, so that every second stretches out, giving me more precious time in bed.

I’ve been thinking about the meeting since about 4am. What I want to say, how I want to present myself, potential scenarios for how the meeting will play out, emails I need to send – this kind of thing happens more often than I would like it to.

So now, when I need to get up, my mind just wants another forty or so winks to catch up on the sleep it didn’t get last night while it was doing all that important thinking.

This, I think, has been my biggest challenge as a freelancer so far. I find it hard to let go of my work. I take it to bed with me, it follows me into the shower, even when I am on holiday, it is there, stood next to me and waving frantically.

I hear a lot of people rattle on about self-care and how you have the right to disconnect, but I never realised how difficult it actually was to do that. So, as a first step toward self care, I am going to roll over this morning and have another hour in bed. The meeting can wait a while longer.

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